✅ Introduction Link to heading

In Agile environments, we meet a lot: daily standups, sprint planning, retros, backlog grooming. So it’s fair to ask—if the team already meets every day, why do we need regular one-on-ones?

Here’s the short version: standups align the work; one-on-ones align the people. They serve completely different purposes. A standup is about coordination. A one-on-one is about connection. You need both.

I started doing one-on-ones with my team years ago. It made such an improvement in team functioning that other managers took notice—and started doing them too. Now, weekly or biweekly one-on-ones are the norm at my company. It’s just how we lead. And honestly, I can’t imagine managing without them. They’re not just for status updates or tracking tasks—they’re about staying connected.

🔄 Standups vs. One-on-Ones: Different Tools for Different Jobs Link to heading

Standups are public, fast, and tactical. Each person gives a quick update: what they did, what they’re doing, and any blockers. The goal is to keep the team moving together in the same direction, aligned around sprint goals.

But that’s only one kind of alignment. People also need clarity about expectations, support when things go wrong, and feedback on how they’re doing—not just what they’re doing. That’s where one-on-ones shine.

One-on-ones are private, reflective, and personal. The goal isn’t just checking in on work—it’s checking in on the person doing it. This is where you talk about challenges that go beyond Jira tickets. It’s a space to process friction, uncover ideas, revisit growth goals, and deepen mutual understanding.

Some people share eagerly. Others open up gradually. Either way, when your team knows this time is sacred and consistent, they’ll use it when it matters.

🧱 Foundations: Trust, Safety, and Connection Link to heading

One-on-ones aren’t just a nice-to-have—they’re the foundation of trust between a manager and each team member. And that trust is what gives you permission to lead effectively, coach honestly, and support consistently.

Without trust, feedback feels like criticism. With trust, it feels like coaching. Without trust, career conversations feel like a formality. With trust, they become a roadmap.

These meetings create a rhythm of presence. Over time, they build the kind of safety where people will tell you what’s really going on—not just at work, but in their lives. I’ve had team members open up about health struggles, relationship stress, substance abuse issues, and major life transitions. These are the things that quietly affect performance, motivation, and well-being—and that no one brings up in a group setting.

In one case, a teammate needed to relocate unexpectedly. We couldn’t retain him, but because of the trust built in our one-on-ones, he shared early and candidly. I was able to help him find a new role, prep for interviews, and exit gracefully. That kind of support doesn’t happen by accident—it’s built through repeated, honest conversations.

One-on-ones are also where you surface concerns that don’t show up on dashboards: interpersonal tension, shifting morale, process breakdowns, unspoken frustrations. People often won’t bring these up until they feel the space is safe—and even then, they might wait for the right moment. That’s why consistency matters.

When you know what’s really happening with your team, you also know when to push and when to pause. You can be more strategic in sprint planning, avoid burnout, and manage workload based on real context—not just capacity numbers. It’s one of the most effective ways to align delivery with reality.

These meetings have also helped me address performance challenges—sometimes with great outcomes, sometimes with hard decisions. But even when things didn’t work out, we parted ways with honesty and respect. That’s what trust allows: clarity without cruelty.

💬 Feedback, Coaching, and Context Link to heading

Agile emphasizes feedback loops—but most of those loops are about the product, not the people. One-on-ones are where the people feedback happens.

These aren’t performance reviews. They’re weekly opportunities to offer encouragement, nudge growth, and clear obstacles. When someone’s doing great work, say so. When they’re struggling, ask what’s in the way. Offer resources, perspective, or accountability—but always with the assumption of goodwill.

Equally important: listen. Sometimes what people need most is to talk through a sticky situation without fear of judgment. I’ve had one-on-ones where I barely spoke and others where I talked most of the time. It depends on what the person needs that week—and being adaptable is part of the job.

One-on-ones also give employees a chance to give you feedback. If they trust you, they’ll tell you what’s confusing, frustrating, or not working. That kind of candor helps you grow just as much as it helps them. The best managers I know treat one-on-ones as a mirror, not a podium.

📈 Career Growth and Retention Link to heading

Great engineers want more than a paycheck—they want to grow. But growth doesn’t always mean promotion. Sometimes it means skill-building, taking on new challenges, or working toward a long-term goal.

One-on-ones are where those conversations happen. Don’t wait for a review cycle or HR prompt. Make space regularly to ask:

  • What’s something new you’d like to try?
  • What’s starting to feel repetitive?
  • Where do you want to be in a year—and how can I help you move in that direction?

When people feel seen and supported, they stay. When they feel stagnant or invisible, they don’t. One-on-ones are your best early warning system for retention risk—and your best investment in engagement.

Not every conversation will be about career trajectory. But every conversation contributes to a sense of being valued. That’s the foundation for any meaningful growth plan.

🧠 Lessons From the Field Link to heading

I’ve been managing engineers for over 20 years. I’ve worn the working manager hat. I’ve run small, scrappy teams and larger ones with more structure. Through all of that, one-on-ones have remained the most consistently valuable thing I do.

They’ve helped me prevent breakdowns, navigate exits, celebrate growth, and build a team culture that’s honest and resilient. They’ve helped me see people more clearly—and helped them see me not just as a boss, but as a partner in their success.

They’ve also helped me improve. I’ve gotten better at listening. Better at coaching. Better at knowing when to push and when to step back. That didn’t come from books or workshops. It came from hundreds of one-on-one conversations—some awkward, some profound, all worthwhile.

✅ Final Thoughts Link to heading

Standups keep the sprint on track. One-on-ones keep the people on track.

You don’t need perfect scripts or slick tools. You need consistency, curiosity, and care. You need to show up—week after week—and prove with your presence that your team matters.

If you want better performance, stronger retention, fewer surprises, and deeper connection, start here.

One person. One conversation. One week at a time.

🔗 Further Reading Link to heading